


i can dance to anything you wanna sing

by 5_es_oh_es (YouMakeMyHeartCry)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Enjoy!, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, Text friends, There's this dick called Greg who just kind of appeared, Um famous!calum, Um malum I guess, but I hate him, hes mean, hope you like it, i didn't at first but now I do, i have a job, i haven't written for ages, i wrote this months ago and just got around to editing and posting, lashton if you squint too ofcourse, lazy shit I am, now that it makes sense, sorry I'll stop now, sorry I've forgotten how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-25 20:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2634740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouMakeMyHeartCry/pseuds/5_es_oh_es
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I think I swallowed a fly." He lied, working up the courage to look over again and yup, it was still there. It was a big sign, but simple, unlike most. Plain white card with two short words written in bold purple letters: </p><p>Blow job?</p><p>Or, </p><p>Calum is a bit of a big deal and Michael is a bit of a big dork and Ashton is a fantastic drummer and Luke is kind of just there (as always) and somehow they work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i can dance to anything you wanna sing

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, thank you for clicking on my little old story, I'm real sorry I haven't posted for a while but since I've been back at Sixth Form and working as well I've had about -240 hours of spare time so it's hard but I've finally cracked and I'm giving up sleep for this so I hope you like it!
> 
> Title from Blink 182 (who would have guessed?!?!?) Kaleidoscope, I would seriously recommend listening :)

Calum Hood was halfway through his No. 1 hit _Party_ _Animal_ when he noticed the sign that made him choke on his words and drop the microphone, face flushing bright red. 

His guitarist, Luke, stopped strumming immediately, rushing over to Calum to see if he was okay. The drummer, Greg, rolled his eyes when he thought Calum couldn't see him (he could) and carried on drumming until it became obvious that Calum wasn't going to be able to finish the song. 

Not for the first time, Calum made a mental note to find himself a better drummer who didn't hate his guts, but he was quickly distracted by Luke slapping his back. 

"Ow! Luke, stop! I'm not choking!" He spluttered, finally managing to compose himself slightly. The crowd was going crazy, teenage girls screaming and sobbing, thinking he was dying or something. Calum reached down to grab the mic, smiling sheepishly as he assured everyone that he was, in fact, perfectly fine. 

"I think I swallowed a fly." He lied, working up the courage to look over again and yup, it was still there. It was a big sign, but simple, unlike most. Plain white card with two short words written in bold purple letters: 

_Blow job?_

He hastily excused himself, telling the crowd that he was going to grab a drink. Once offstage, he shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was a shock, that's for sure. The majority of his fans were pre-teens, young girls who found him attractive but didn't particularly care for his music, which he _insisted_ was pop-punk (nobody would take him seriously, though, and he was sick to death of being compared to the likes of Justin Bieber and Cody Simpson, because dammit he's _punk_ for fuck's sake.)

After drinking far too much water (he would probably need to piss in ten minutes but there were four songs left so he figured he could manage) he made his way back on stage, greeted by thunderous applause. He made a beeline for Luke, pointing out the sign (subtly, not wanting the fans to look, afraid of soiling the innocence of the young girls). Luke snorted, clapping Calum on the back and grinning.

"Dude, you should totally call her." He laughed. Calum rolled his eyes.

"And how do you propose I do that?" 

"There's a phone number on the sign, you twat." Luke told him. Calum whirled around, squinting, and sure enough, in smaller print underneath the question (if you can really call it that) was a phone number. Calum laughed, amazing at the sheer audacity of this fan. 

"Right. God. You know what? Write it down. Maybe I will call her." 

"What? Are you serious?" Luke gaped. Calum shrugged. 

"Why not?" He laughed, walking away from the dumbstruck guitarist to grab his mic and greet the crowd again. As he was speaking, he glanced over at Luke, pleased to see the boy had found a pen and was writing on his arm. He silently sent up a prayer that the numbers wouldn't be washed away by Luke's gross boy-sweat and finished the concert without any further incidents.

...

"Luke, I swear, I know three-year-olds with better handwriting than you, mate," Calum groaned, trying to make out the slightly smudged numbers scrawled across the guitarists arm. Luke huffed.

"I'm sorry, it's hard to write over the arm hair. Also, I'm pretty sure most three year olds can't write." He pouted. Calum rolled his eyes.

"Exactly." He muttered, but Luke didn't hear him. 

"I'm not sure if this is a three or a five, but other than that I think I've got it." Calum grinned triumphantly. Luke studied the digit Calum had pointed out for a moment and smiled.

"Dude, that's an eight. Not a three or a five. It's an eight. Are you thick?"

Calum glanced back at the number that most certainly was not an eight but said nothing, choosing to take Luke's word for it. 

"Alright. That's it then." He looked down at the number he'd written on a scrap of paper, probably a take-away receipt, suddenly nervous. Was this really a good idea? For all he knew the person could be some kind of psycho, trying to lure him in with the promise of sexual favours. Or what if it had been meant as a joke? The girl would be freaked out and he'd be labelled as some kind of sex-crazed loser. He wasn't actually planning on asking for a blow job, (obviously, he might be a horny teenage guy but he's not desperate), he just wanted to give the fan a bit of a shock, but what if it was taken the wrong way? He felt himself beginning to hyperventilate.

Luke saw that he was starting to panic and snatched the paper out of his hands. 

"If you're going to work yourself up over it I'm not letting you do it. This is a joke, remember? You want to give her a bit of a surprise, whoever it is. If you don't think it's a good idea, just don't do it." 

"I know, I know. I don't know why it's freaking me out."

"Look, why don't we just forget it, go get a pizza or something?" Luke suggested, moving as if to rip the paper in half. Calum shook his head, snatching it back out of his hands. 

"No way! I'm gonna do this. It'll be fine. Her reaction will be hilarious, whoever she is." Calum said, feeling a little calmer. After all, if it was just a joke, she wouldn't have put her real number on there, right? Chances were it was made up and the call wouldn't even go through. He dialled the number, quickly, before he lost his nerve. 

Calum counted eight rings before the answer phone picked up. He sighed, shoulders sagging slightly, with relief or disappointment he wasn't sure, and hung up.

"She didn't answer." He informed Luke. Luke pouted, put out.

"Are you gonna try again?" He asked. Calum shook his head.

"No. I feel like this is some kind of sign, telling me that this was a bad-" he stopped talking as the opening to All a The Small Things started up. Looking down at his phone, Calum felt his heartbeat pick up. It was the same number. She was calling him back. "Shit." 

"What? Oh my God, Cal, answer it!" Luke exclaimed. Calum nodded, but couldn't seem to bring himself to press the answer button. After a moment or so, Luke groaned loudly and took the phone, answering it and holding it up to Calum's ear. 

"H-hello?" Calum managed to choke out. The nerves were back, full force. 

"Hi. Um, I missed a call from you?"

"Y-eah." Calum replied. There was silence for a second. 

"Well...can I help you?" The voice sounded weirded out. But Calum couldn't bring himself to explain because he was in shock. Because the person on the other end of the line was most definitely _not_ a girl. 

"Um, I, um..." Calum winced at his own stupidity. Luke looked at him, confused, wondering why he was acting so strangely. The boy's voice sighed.

"Look, is this supposed to be a prank call? Because, mate, it's a pretty shitty one." The voice sounded pissed off and, worried that he might be hung up on, Calum finally managed to force out some real words. 

"No, um, sorry. I think I might have the wrong number. I, um...were you at a concert earlier this evening, by any chance?" He asked, sure that he must have the wrong person, but he thought he would ask anyway, just in case. He was expecting the guy to be angry, or confused, call him a freak or something. He was not expecting the response he got.

"Um, yeah. I was. That's creepy. You're not a stalker or anything are you?" The voice asked. Calum rolled his eyes, momentarily forgetting who he was talking to.

"I wouldn't tell you if I was." He said. Luke looked nonplussed, having no idea what was going on, and decided to go find something to eat and let Calum catch him up later. The voice, meanwhile, laughed at him.

"True. I feel a little creeped out now, though, so I think I'll just-oh, wait! You saw my sign, didn't you? Is that why you're calling? Sorry, dude, I thought you were a creep."

"Um, yeah, I did, I saw it." Calum couldn't believe it. Not only was the person with the sign a _guy_ , but he wasn't even the least bit shocked to be on the phone with Calum Hood. 

"Right. Well, um, wow. This is awkward. Sorry to disappoint man, but I'm not, like, some kind of prostitute." The guy sounded embarrassed. Calum was even more confused.

"Sorry?" 

"I mean, I um...look, I wasn't just offering a free blow job. The sign was, like, directed at Calum. You know, Calum Hood? It wasn't directed at the entire crowd. Sorry, I'm sure you're a perfectly nice guy." The guy sounded genuinely apologetic and Calum couldn't help but laugh. So that's why the guy wasn't freaking the fuck out. He didn't realise it was _him_.

"Oh, yeah. I figured it was directed at Calum." 

"So why did you call?" The guy now sounded just as confused as Calum himself had been. Calum smirked.

"Because, luckily for me, I _am_ Calum." He said smugly. His nerves were gone now as he waited for the reaction. There was silence for a few moments. Then;

"Are you fucking with me?" Came the voice. He sounded slightly hopeful, though he was obviously trying to cover it up. Calum laughed.

"No, mate, I'm not. Actually, it was kind of your fault I had to leave the stage tonight. I saw your sign and I was so shocked I choked. My fans are mostly, like, thirteen-year-old girls and I wasn't expecting something like that." He explained. He heard a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the line and his smile widened.

"Are you fucking serious? You're Calum Hood?" The guy was shocked, but in a good way. He hoped. Calum nodded, then remembered that he couldn't actually see him.

"Yeah, mate. I got my guitarist Luke to write your number down. Thought it would be a pleasant surprise for ya, getting a phone call from me." 

"I, um, well... _fuck_."

"You alright mate?" 

"Um, yeah, I just...okay so if you're not actually Calum and this is a joke I'm going to regret this but on the off chance that you're really him... _fuck_ , man, I'm a huge fan. Like, I mean, your music is actually pretty shitty. Most of it isn't punk at all. But your unreleased stuff...whoa, dude. And you've got a great voice and...you're so hot, and I just...I'm a huge fan. Yeah. I'm Michael, by the way." 

Calum was grinning from ear to ear now, flattered. Okay, so the guy had insulted is music, but only the stuff he hadn't written, the stuff the label had wanted him to sing. The guy liked his old stuff, what he wrote himself, and this was new to him. He didn't think the fans even knew about his old YouTube channel where he posted covers and snippets of half-written original songs he'd never had the motivation to finish. 

"Wow. Um, thanks, I guess. That's good to hear. Really good to hear." He replied. There was awkward silence for a minute, and then the guy, _Michael_ , chuckled.

"So, um, did you call, like, you know, to take me up on the offer?"

"Offer?" Calum asked, confused, having forgotten the reason he even knew this guys number in the first place. Michael laughed.

"The blow job. Is that why you called?" 

"Oh! Shit, oh my God, no! I mean, like, I just wanted to, like, surprise a fan. I thought it would be fun. As, um, _sweet_ as your offer was, I'm going to have to say thanks, but no thanks." 

"Oh. Shame." Michael sounded legitimately put out, and Calum felt the need to apologise. So he did. Michael laughed loudly. "Dude, don't be sorry. I'm joking. I mean, as much as I would love to give you head, the sign was mostly just to grab your attention. I liked to think you might have noticed me. I wasn't expecting you to _actually_ call. But it's pretty fucking _awesome_ that you did." 

"Oh. Well, good. I'm glad." Calum responded. He wasn't sure what else to say, but he had to admit he didn't want to end the conversation. Not yet. This Michael guy was intriguing.

"Hang on a second, my roommate just walked in." There was a shuffling sound from the phone and then after a few moment his voice was back, "Do you mind if I tell him you're on the phone? Don't worry he won't tell anyone, I just want to rub it in." 

"Sure, no problem." Calum told him. He listened to the conversation through the phone.

"Hey, Ash. You'll never guess who's on the fucking phone right now." Michael said, and Calum smiled amusedly at the excitement in his voice. He obviously thought Calum couldn't hear, because he was definitely going into full on fan-mode. 

"Who?" Came another voice, slightly quieter, but still audible.

"You have to _guess_ , Ashton." Michael whined, barely containing his excitement. 

"Well, I'm guessing from your level of excitement that it's not your mother. Or any of your clingy boyfriends." Came the voice. Calum fought a laugh as Michael huffed. 

"Not _boyfriends_ , Ash, sleeping with someone _once_ does not make them a boyfriend!"

"Whatever. So, um, I don't know...is it that guy you have the hots for? The one from the deli?" Michael snorted in response.

"Not even close. Someone way better. Like, a million times better."

"I don't know, Mikey!" The other guy sounded exasperated, "the only person you ever get this excited over is that fucking Calum guy with the shitty music." Calum laughed, loudly this time. There was silence for a second. Then Michael spoke, this time to him.

"Um, can you, like, hear what we're saying?" Michael asked him, embarrassed.

"Yeah." Calum told him.

"Oh. Whoops. Sorry."

"S'no problem." 

"For fuck's sake, Michael, who the fuck is it?" Came his friend's voice, frustrated. Michael chuckled.

"Well, actually, Ash, you guessed it."

"What? No I didn't. All I said was...wait. No way. No _fucking_ way." Calum could tell by the guys voice that he'd caught on. Laughing, he greeted him.

"Hi, um, Ashton? I'm Calum. Calum Hood. The guy with the shitty music." He spoke loudly, hoping that the guy could hear him. Apparently he could. Michael giggled loudly. Calum imagined that the other guys looked humiliated. 

"You're serious? This isn't a prank, is it, Mikey?" 

"No, Ash. It's _actually_ him. I'm 98% sure, anyway."

"Fuck. You mean to tell me that your stupid sign _worked_?" 

"Yup."

"No!" Calum quickly protested, not wanting Michaels friend to jump to conclusions, "I mean, Michael, explain."

"Oh, yeah, he doesn't actually want a blow job. He thought it would be funny to surprise me." 

"Wow. I can't believe you're on the phone to the guy you think about when you jerk off. That's crazy." Calum choked, blushing furiously. 

"Ashton!" Michael whined, equally embarrassed, "he can _hear_ you!" He protested. Ashton laughed and said something else, but he must have left the room because Calum couldn't make it out. Michael cursed at him in reply and then addressed Calum again.

"Um, sorry about that. Ashton's a dick."

"It's alright."

"What he said, um, it wasn't...it wasn't true. Don't be creeped out. I don't, like, think about you when I...yeah. I don't. He was just trying to embarrass me, I swear."

"I believe you. Though, honestly, I can't say I would blame you." Calum joked. Michael laughed loudly.

"Fair enough. Your modesty is astounding." He said sarcastically. 

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Michael replied, though his voice sounded strange and it took Calum a moment to realise that he was yawning. 

"You must be exhausted. It's really late. Go get some sleep, mate." 

"No! I mean, um, I'm fine, I just-"

"Michael, it's almost midnight. And I have a busy day tomorrow." 

"Oh, shit, sorry. I wasn't thinking, of course you're busy. I guess I just...I don't want this to end. I still can't believe I'm actually speaking to you, honestly."

"Who said it had to end? You have my number now."

"Yeah, but..."

"But what?"

"I figured you wouldn't exactly want me to try to speak to you again. I don't want to be one of those creepy, obsessive fans."

"You're not. I don't...you seem cool, Michael. Just...text me. Alright?" 

"Yeah. Yeah, alright." Michael sounded excited and Calum couldn't deny he was too. He didn't know why, but he wanted to keep in contact with Michael. In the short time they'd bee talking he'd managed to intrigue him, and he figured he must be a pretty funny guy, what with the sign and everything. Plus he wasn't a screaming fan girl and he actually liked Calum's _real_ music, not the poppy stuff he was forced to release. 

"I'll speak to you soon then, yeah?" He said, just as Luke was re-entering. Upon hearing Calum's words he grinned, making a thumbs up gesture. Calum rolled his eyes but returned it.

"Yeah." Michael breathed, disbelieving. Calum chuckled, saying one last goodbye, before hanging up the phone. He smiled to himself. 

Luke looked at him expectantly. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Don't be a shit, Cal. What happened?"

"I spoke to him for a while. He was pretty cool. I told him to text me."

"Nice one, mate." Luke looked pleased, but then frowned, "Wait... _him_?"

"Yeah. It was a guy."

"Oh. Shit. I wasn't expecting that. I didn't think guys were into your stuff."

"He's not. He likes my old stuff, you know, the stuff on my YouTube channel. What I wrote myself."

"Really? I didn't think fans knew about that." Luke was surprised. Calum shrugged.

"Me neither, but he does." 

"That's pretty cool. So, um..." Luke suddenly looked awkward, "he, um...he offered you a blow job, Cal."

"Yeah, I know." Calum sighed, face falling. Luke, and Luke alone, knew all about the mild sexuality crisis he was going through at the moment. 

"How do you feel about that?"

"Honestly? I don't know, really. I think...I would probably like it." He admitted, blushing. Luke smiled.

"Cool. Well, you know, if anything does happen, be careful. Safe sex and all that shit." 

"Yeah, Luke, I know how it works." Calum rolled his eyes, glad that his best friend didn't seem at bothered by him pretty much admitting he likes boys. 

"Good. You still like girls, though, right?" 

"Yeah, definitely. I guess I'm into both." Calum shrugged. He wasn't sure why he'd been so panicked about this. It was actually pretty easy to admit. 

"Lucky. Means you have plenty of options." Luke shrugged. Calum laughed.

"Yeah, I guess it does." 

They started making their way out of the dressing room then, heading for the tour bus which would take them to the hotel they were staying at for the next few days.

"I'm not sleeping with you, you know." Luke said suddenly. Calum snorted, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't recall asking you to."

"I know. Just thought I'd let you know. Just because I'm gay and you're...bisexual or whatever. I'm not sleeping with you."

"Okay. That's a shame. I was so desperate to get into your pants. I don't know if I can bear being around you all the time now that you've rejected me so heartlessly. I might have to find a new guitarist..." Calum joked. Luke rolled his eyes.

"You'd never fire me. You love me too much."

"Yeah yeah." Calum sighed as he followed his friend into the tour bus, not even bothering to deny it.

...

Calum's face lit up when he received a text message from an unknown number the next afternoon.

'Morning, superstar.' It read. Still grinning, he checked the clock on the wall above him.

Calum: dude it's nearly 2

Michael: well I just woke up so its morning

Calum: lazy bugger 

Michael: rude :(

Calum: sorry but if the shoe fits...

They carried on like this for a few days, friendly (flirty) banter over text messages and the occasional phone call. Calum had a four-day break from performing, but after that there were three more shows at the same arena (he had no idea how it all worked out, he just did what he was told to do by management), so they were staying at the same hotel for a while. He was still really busy, though, what with rehearsals and interviews and even a couple of writing sessions, and he was getting so little sleep he didn't feel rested at all. Still, he couldn't complain too much. After all, it was his own fault that he stayed up till piss o'clock in the morning talking to Michael. 

Michael: so I was thinking 

He opened this message while eating breakfast and couldn't resist the chance to mock him.

Calum: don't hurt yourself

Michael: are you this rude to all the fans you that offer you sexual favours?

Calum: only the boys ;)

Michael: oh. ok. 

_Shit_ Calum thought, worried he'd freaked him out. He hastily changed the subject, hoping Michael would forget what he'd said.

Calum: so what were you thinking? 

Michael: I was thinking that I actually have no real way of knowing you're for real

Calum: what happened to 98% sure?

Michael: well in the heat of the moment you were very convincing but idk 

Calum: okay so what do you want from me?

Michael: many things. 

Calum: ha. ha. you know what I mean

Michael: okay, well I was thinking...how about snapchat?

Calum: isn't that the social media app for sending nudes?

Michael: that's not the purpose of the app!

Calum: I'm not sending you nudes, you never know who might see them

Michael: I'm not asking you to. just thought you could, you know, send a selfie...just to set my mind at rest?

Michael: its fine if you don't want to though

Michael: im not being a weirdo I promise

Michael: I wouldn't even screenshot it

Michael: calum?

Calum felt guilty the entire afternoon rehearsal that day, knowing that he'd left Michael in the lurch. It even affected his playing, he was so distracted. He kept playing the wrong chords and at one point he forgot he was playing guitar and went through a whole song with it hanging around his neck like some oversized necklace rather than a musical instrument. Luke noticed his distraction but didn't say anything, simply tried to help him out where he could. Eventually, Calum gave up.

"Alright guys, let's call it a day." He sighed eventually. Greg muttered something, probably offensive, and Calum glared at him as he left the stage. Luke approached him and patted his back.

"Luke, I have _got_ to get a new drummer. Greg's a dick, and I wouldn't mind so much but he's not even that _good_." He complained. Luke chuckled.

"Okay, new drummer, I'll add that to the list. You wanna tell me what's got you so bent out of shape?"

"What? I'm fine." He replied, unconvincingly.

"You've been distracted and messing up this whole time. I know there's something up."

"I just...alright you're gonna think I'm really stupid."

"I already do, Cal," Luke laughed, rolling his eyes when Calum pouted, "What have you got to lose?"

"Well...I've been texting Michael."

"Michael?" Luke looked blank. Calum sighed.

"The guy from the concert, you know, with the sign."

"Oh! Him! Wait, he's not some creepy stalker, right?"

"No!"

"Are you sure? Calum, if he's bothering you we can quite easily change your number, it's-"

"No, Luke! It's fine, he's really cool, and funny, and, um, well...I was distracted because I'm worried he'll think I'm ignoring him." Calum admitted, embarrassed. Luke laughed.

"Is that it?"

"Um, yeah."

"Cal, dude, that's pathetic. Just go message him now and let him know you were busy. The guy knows who you are, he'll understand." Luke reassured him. Calum smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, Luke. I know I was kind of worrying about nothing. I just...this is a really weird situation, I know. But I really like this guy, he's a laugh. I don't want to piss him off before we're even, like, friends." 

"Good God, one phone call and a few texts and you've got a boner for the guy already." Luke gasped melodramatically. Calum flushed.

"S'not like that!" He insisted. Luke once again, rolled his eyes and patted him on the back.

"Sure it's not."

Calum forced himself to wait until Luke had set down his guitar and left the stage before dashing into his dressing room and picking up his phone. He bit his lip as he read Michael's messages, feeling terrible.

Calum: hey man, sorry, rehearsing

Calum: I know you're not being weird 

Calum: snap chat sounds good I'd quite like to know what you look like

Calum: still not sending you nudes though

He stared down at the phone in his hands for almost a whole minute before he checked himself realising he was acting like an idiot and throwing the phone down onto the dressing table. He changed clothes, not for any particular reason, simply to distract himself so he wouldn't start pining like some desperate teenager. 

After ten minutes of pacing the room anxiously he picked up the phone and checked it again. No response.

Sighing disappointedly he tucked the phone into his back pocket and left the room, planning to hunt down his guitarist and drag him out to find a place to eat.

"Luke!" He called, spotting the blonde just as he disappeared into a room at the end of the hall. Luke didn't respond so Calum assumed he hadn't heard him and headed towards the door he'd walked through. 

As he approached the door his eyes narrowed suspiciously. It was one of the little rooms set aside for the band members to use as a dressing room when they needed it. Luke knew he was always invited to share Calum's dressing room, no matter what the venue was, so he had no reason to be in there. Greg was the only person who used it. 

The door was slightly open when Calum reached it, and even though he knew it was wrong, when he heard voices he stopped, refraining from walking inside.

"Greg, stop fucking around." He heard Luke's voice. He was shocked, momentarily, at the venom in his friend's voice, but even more so by the genuine _fear_ he could also hear. Greg laughed sourly. 

"Luke, come on. Why are you fighting me?"

"Because-fuck, _stop_ it- I don't want..." Luke trailed off. Calum's jaw dropped, horrified. 

"Come on, Lukey, you wanted me before. What's changed?"

"That was a _mistake_ , I was wasted out of my mind and you took advantage of me, you fucking _asshole_. I'm not interested in doing it again." Luke hissed. Calum could tell he was starting to panic but he was in a state of shock and couldn't bring himself to intervene. 

"Come, on, Luke." Greg growled insistently.

"Fuck _off_ , man. No means no."

"Luke, you're pissing me the fuck off." Greg sounded angry now, and when, moments later, he heard a frightened yelp from his friend he suddenly unfroze and burst into the room. Greg looked over, shocked. The drummer had one hand in Luke's hair, in a way that looked incredibly painful for the blonde, and the other on his crotch. Calum had never been so angry. Luke looked surprised but relieved to see his friend, and Calum almost lost it when he saw the tears streaming down Luke's face.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" His voice was low and slightly shaky with anger as he glared murderously at Greg. The drummer dropped his hands and moved away from Luke, though he glared back at Calum.

"Fuck off, Calum. Luke and I are having a _private_ conversation." 

"That didn't sound like a conversation to me. It sounded more like sexual harassment." Calum seethed. Luke wiped his cheeks and moved closer to his friend, scared. 

"Cal, I'm so sorry-" he started but Calum cut him off with an incredulous look.

"You've got nothing to apologise for, Luke. It's this fucker that should be apologising." He jerked a thumb in Greg's direction. 

"Stop being so melodramatic," Greg rolled his eyes, "it was nothing. Right Luke?"

Luke didn't say anything. Calum turned back to Greg.

"That certainly wasn't nothing. You're fucked up, Greg. And as soon as the police hear about what's gone on-" 

"Police?" Luke gasped. Calum glanced back at him, hoping he looked reassuring.

"Yeah, Lukey. Don't worry-"

"You're an idiot if you think the police will give two shits about this." Greg laughed sourly. Calum turned back to him, glowering.

"Oh really? How old are you, Greg?" He asked. Greg looked confused.

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question." Calum snapped. 

"Twenty two. Why?" 

"And how old is Luke, Greg?" Calum asked, mouth lifting slightly in a victorious smile. He heard Luke gasp from behind him, obviously realising what Calum was getting at. 

"I don't know, like nineteen?" Greg looked thoroughly confused. Calum snorted.

"Lukey here is _seventeen_ , Greg." Calum told him. There was a moments silence, before Greg's eyes widened and Calum knew that he knew that he was well and truly fucked.

" _Shitstatutory_ _rape_ come to mind." 

"But, I...Luke's Australian! The legal age is sixteen in Australia!" Greg protested. Calum scoffed.

"That doesn't matter, we're in the states. Were we here in the US when it happened, Luke?" Calum turned back to his friend, who nodded timidly, "Right, well then. Guess you're fucked." Calum couldn't hide his satisfaction. Greg looked like he was going to argue but then his shoulders sagged and he sighed.

"Whatever. I'm out of here." He muttered, shoving past Calum and making for the door. Calum felt sick when he saw the way Luke winced and braced himself as Greg passed him, like he was expecting to be hit. As soon as the door slammed shut, Calum was enveloping his friend in a tight hug.

"Are you alright Luke?" He asked, concerned. Luke grunted an affirmative but he buried his head in Calum's neck and shook with sobs.

"I fucked up so bad, Cal." His voice was soft and he sounded so young that Calum just wanted to wrap him in bubble wrap and mail him home with a note to his mother telling her to give him a bath and feed him ice cream. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, and Luke might think him a little weird if he tried. 

"Hey, it's not your fault. It's his, he's a dick. I always hated him, but I never thought he would...yeah."

"I barely even remember what happened, is the worst part. I remember waking up naked and he was there but I don't know what happened." Luke sounded really cut up. Calum wondered how he'd managed to act normal since it happened because he could tell the boy wasn't okay at all.

"I'm so sorry, Luke." He rubbed his back. It took Luke another couple of minutes to stop crying and compose himself. He pulled out of the embrace.

"Were you serious about the police?"

"Only if you want to get them involved." 

Luke looked relieved. "Good. I don't, really. I just want to forget this whole thing."

"Alright then. No problem."

"Thanks, Cal. You're a really great friend." He sighed, looking slightly sheepish. Calum shrugged.

"I know. You're pretty okay too." He winked, trying to lighten the mood. It worked, making Luke chuckle, but almost straight away he frowned again.

"Shit, Cal. Now you don't have a drummer." He looked concerned. Calum deflated slightly. It hadn't really sunk in yet that Greg had actually left for good. Not that he wanted the guy anywhere _near_ him or Luke ever again. But it did mean he was drummer-less, and the chances of finding a new drummer in the hour or so they had before the show were slim to none. And he couldn't go on without a drummer.

"Fuck. That sucks." He sighed. Luke looked guilty.

"Sorry, Cal."

"Not your fault. I should have replaced the dick weeks ago." He shrugged, and it was true. He'd been planning to search for a new drummer since about two hours after he hired Greg. He'd just been putting it off.

"I still feel bad, though. You can't perform without a drummer, can you?" Luke looked upset, so Calum shrugged it off.

"It's alright. I've been kind of needing a bit of a break anyway. I know we haven't been performing, really, but I'm still exhausted." He assured the younger boy. Luke didn't believe him, knowing how much a Calum hated to let down his fans, but he just nodded, grateful.

Calum tracked down one of his management team, Lauren, and reeled off some phoney story about Greg overreacting to a harmless joke and storming out. She seemed pissed, even more so after making a couple calls and coming to the conclusion that they would have to cancel the concert, but Calum wasn't worried. He hadn't told them the truth, partly because he didn't want his entire management team knowing Luke's business but also because he was worried that Luke's job might be at risk if they knew what had gone down. He knew he'd be scolded but at least there was no way anyone could fire him, and he was willing to take a few lectures to save Luke's job and/or dignity.

Not ten minutes after the concert being cancelled was officially announced, calls from paparazzi started coming through. He knew that it would already be plastered across social media and he made a mental note to avoid twitter for a couple of days, because whenever something like this happened, regardless of the reasons, the artist always got ripped to shreds and he was too emotionally drained (he didn't want to imagine how Luke was feeling) to deal with hate.

He spent the evening with Luke, checking them both into a hotel for the night, and they watched stupid sit coms and ate ice cream, comforting each other because Luke was still upset but he also knew Calum felt incredibly guilty for upsetting the fans and he was a good enough person that he wanted to be there for him despite his own problems. 

Calum eventually headed back to his own room after Luke had drifted off in a rather uncomfortable position on the floor and he'd managed to drag his unconscious body onto the bed. Once there, he flopped down onto his own mattress, eyes drifting shut immediately. He was tempted to just go straight to sleep, but with a sigh he remembered that he hadn't checked his phone since they got to the hotel and he might have missed something important.

There were a couple of emails from his team that didn't look important enough to read, and a few text messages from friends and family members asking what had happened. He replied to them all, briefly, too tired to explain in full. The most recent message, received just a few minutes ago, was from Michael. Despite his exhaustion he couldn't help but smile down at the screen. Then he silently cursed himself for being so lame.

Michael: hey, dude, you alright? I saw on twitter that you cancelled a show tonight, what happened? you're not hurt are you? :( x

He was pleased that Michael seemed so concerned about him, and he couldn't deny the fact that his heart did a little dance in his chest due to the little 'x' at the end of the sentence. 

Calum: im good, thanks. everything is fine, just had a fight with the drummer and now I'm drummer-less. couldn't do the show without drums, so we had to call it off. hopefully my team can sort something out for the rest of the tour but quality drummers are hard to find :/ x

He spent more time replying to Michael than he did for anyone else, but he drew the line at waiting up for a response. He'd barely managed to kick off his jeans before he was snoring. 

...

Calum woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly refreshed, and when he checked the clock he realised, surprised, that he'd slept almost until midday. He briefly wondered why he hadn't been woken up and dragged back to the venue yet, but decided to take advantage of his apparent freedom and took a long hot shower. As he towelled dry he looked in the mirror and was relieved to see that not only did he feel good, he looked it too. His lie-in had erased the puffiness of his eyes caused by a hectic tour schedule and lack of rest, and his skin looked better than it had for weeks. 

Deciding that checking on his best friend was more important than getting dressed, he wrapped a towel around his waist and left the room, glad that Luke was only down the hall and there weren't many other people in the hotel. 

"Luke?" He called, knocking lightly, not wanting to wake him if he was still asleep. He wasn't though, opening the door almost straight away.

"Hey Cal." Luke greeted him. Calum frowned.

Unlike himself, Luke looked awful. There were dark bags under his eyes and he looked like he hadn't slept a wink, which didn't make sense since he'd been asleep when Calum had left.

"Why do you look so tired?" Calum asked him. Luke rubbed his eyes.

"Nightmare. Didn't want to go back to sleep." He explained. Calum didn't have to ask to know what the dream had been about. 

"Sorry. You should've woke me up." He told him. Luke smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, man, but you needed the rest. You look good. What time is is?"

"Almost twelve."

"What? Shouldn't we be at the venue? Why hasn't anyone been sent to get us?"

"Don't know. I'm not questioning it though." 

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna shower, you should go get dressed since I know you take forever to get ready." Luke winked, struggling to maintain a straight face.

"Dude, _I'm_ not the one who spends forty-five minutes on my hair." He pointed out.

"Fair enough. You've got to admit, though, my hair game is on point." 

"You, my friend," Calum laughed, "Spend far too much time on Tumblr." 

...

Once dressed and ready to face the world, Calum flopped back down onto the bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He ignored the various replies from those he'd messages last night and skipped straight to Michael's name.

Michael: sorry man that sucks. good luck finding a drummer.

Michael: wait.

Michael: you need a drummer?

Michael: fuck.

Michael: call me as soon as you can Calum please

Calum frowned, puzzled by the boy's messages. He wasn't making much sense, but Calum called his number anyway. Despite the messages being sent almost an hour ago. Michael picked up on the first ring and Calum got the feeling he'd been waiting for the call.

"What's up, Michael?" He asked in way of greeting.

"You still need a drummer, right?" Michael's voice was hacking with barely-contained excitement. 

"Yeah, as far as I know. Why?"

"Is might sound a little crazy, but I have a drummer." 

"What?" 

"Ashton. You know, the guy from the other day?" 

"The one who said my music was shit?" 

"Yeah. Don't worry about that. He talks big, but he has both your CDs and he plays them when I'm not around. He thinks I don't know." 

"Well, I'm flattered, but still confused. Whats Ashton got to do with anything?"

"He's a drummer!" Michael exclaimed, as if he were telling a joke and this was the punch line. There was silence for a moment, before Calum responded.

"Okay, I see what you're getting at. Look, Michael, I don't mean to be rude but, while I'm sure your friend Ashton is talented, what I need is a professional, and-"

"No, wait, hear me out. I know he's not a professional, but you should hear him play. He's _sick_ , man. Taught himself everything he knows and I _swear_ he's fucking awesome. I'd even go so far as to say he's better than any of the drummers you've ever had before. And I'm not just saying that. I care about Ash, he's like my brother, and I wouldn't risk embarrassing him. Seriously, you should at least hear him play." Michael pleaded. Calum deliberated for a few moments. Eventually, he sighed. 

"What the hell? It can't hurt to give him a chance, I suppose. I'll make a couple calls, find out if they've found anyone first. There's a chance they have, so don't get your hopes up. But if they haven't I'll message you and you can tell him to come down to the arena." Calum told him. He winced when Michael squealed excitedly.

"Thank you, Calum. You have no idea how much this means to me, and to him."

"Yeah, yeah, don't get sappy with me. I'll let you know, okay?"

"Okay." 

Calum ended the call and immediately dialled Lauren.

"Hello? Calum?"

"Hey, um-"

"If you're wondering why you haven't been picked up, we decided it was best to let you have the morning off. You've been working hard the past few days and you're obviously drained, since it resulted in a fight. We'll most likely cancel tonight's show too so no need to panic. You've got today to recuperate and-"

"Okay, thanks, whatever," he cut her off, unconcerned, "have you made any progress with the drummer problem?" He asked, crossing his fingers. Despite his initial concern, he trusted that Michael really meant what he said, and wanted to do something nice for this Ashton guy. (Also, if Ashton was coming to audition, chances are Michael would come with him and he could meet the guy, which excited Calum far more than it should have.)

"Well, we haven't found any, but we've made a few calls and we've been in contact with Gregory to ask if he'll reconsider his decision, but so far-"

"No!" Calum was vehement, "no fucking way. I'm not going on stage with that guy again."

"Listen, Calum, I understand you don't like him but you have to make sacrifices in this business and-"

"I have a drummer." He blurted, cutting her off again. She sighed.

"You what?"

"I've found a guy."

"Really? Who?"

"His name is Ashton, um...Ashton."

"Ashton? I don't think I've heard of an Ashton. Who has he played for?" Lauren asked, obviously assuming Calum meant he'd found a _professional_.

"Er, well....no one, really. But-"

"Calum," this time _she_ cut _him_ off, "I get that you don't like Gregory, but can't just hire some amateur. You're a serious artist." 

"I know that, Lauren. Just...look, he's good, okay. Really good. Just let him audition, at least. What other choice do you have? Even if he agrees to come back, I refuse to get back on stage with Greg, and there's no-one else." 

Lauren was silent for a long moment, but eventually she heaved a sigh and Calum grinned, knowing he'd won her over.

"Fine. Tell your friend to be at the arena in an hour. And make sure you're here too. If he's good, and that's a huge _if_ , and he can play all the songs on the set list, we might, just _might_ , be able to go ahead with tonight's show after all." She sounded very doubtful but Calum didn't care; she'd said yes. Ashton was going to audition. He was going to meet Ashton. 

He was going to meet _Michael_.

He hung up on Lauren without saying goodbye and opened up his messaging app.

Calum: tell Ashton he has one hour to be at the arena. see you there? x

Moppet he reply was virtually instantaneous.

Michael: I FUCKING LOVE YOU CALUM HOOD

Michael: SERIOUSLY I COULD KISS YOU

Michael: MAYBE I WILL WHEN I SEE YOU IN AN HOUR

Calum grinned in excitement at the confirmation that Michael would be there. He chose not to reply to the messages, instead checking himself out in the mirror. 

He had a slight (major) melt down, changed his clothes roughly thirty-four times, re-styled his hair twice as many, and it wasn't until Luke came into his room to ask what the fuck was taking him so long that he realised how ridiculous he was being. (This realisation didn't stop him from changing outfit another three times and coming very close to letting Luke style his hair for him, before remembering that Luke was an idiot and batting his hands away).

They arrived at the venue fifty-five minutes after he had ended his conversation with Lauren. He'd debriefed Luke in the car and while the blonde found endless amusement in poking fun at him for acting like he was the fan and Michael the celebrity instead of the other way around, he was actually very helpful and managed to calm Calum down and reassure him that things were going to be _fine_.

In fact, Calum's nerves had virtually disappeared completely when two very nervous looking boys joined him and Luke on the stage. He looked up and met the wide eyes of a purple-haired boy who he knew instantly was Michael. His stomach did a back flip (scratch that, his stomach did a fucking Olympic-level floor routine) and his cheeks flushed instantly as he tried and failed to remember how to form words. 

"Okay, so I was sort of still half-convinced this was some kind of elaborate prank someone was pulling on us but _holy_ _fuck_ you're Calum Hood." Michael gaped. Calum grinned.

"Um...yeah. I am." He replied lamely. Luke rolled his eyes at him and stepped forward, greeting the two boys warmly. 

"Hi, Ashton, Michael, I'm Luke. I'm Calum's guitarist." 

Ashton, who until now had been looking around, fascinated, met Luke's eyes and grinned. Calum was pleasantly surprised by how attractive he was, with his curly hair and bright smile and his dimples, and one glance told him that Luke agreed with his assessment. 

"Hi, Luke. I'm Ashton! Wait, you knew that." The boy frowned, blushing. Luke laughed, but his cheeks were also red. Deciding to leave Luke to explain everything to the drummer, he approached Michael, taking in his appearance as he did. 

Michael was smiling, but his face, too, was flushed, and he was bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. Calum beamed when he noticed the sex pistols shirt he was wearing, exactly the same as one of his own shirts. Michael, like himself and Luke and Ashton, was wearing tight black skinny jeans and converse. 

"I have that shirt." Was what he said. Michael blushed, looking at the ground, embarrassed.

"I know. I actually bought it because, well...I saw you wear it in an interview and then I saw it online the next day and I just thought, like, fate or some shit was telling me to buy it." 

"Cool." Calum grinned, "It's a great shirt."

"Yeah." 

They were both silent for a while, until Michael couldn't take it any more.

"Thank you for this, Calum. It really...it means so much to Ash. He's such a great drummer and he really deserves this chance. You won't regret this." Michael was beaming at him and Calum felt like he was going to melt because Michael was stunningly attractive, though not in the same way Ashton was attractive. Michael was much less muscular but Calum preferred that and Ashton was very much the boy-next-door type while Michael was the exact opposite and he had a _really_ nice mouth and Calum found himself wondering if Michael's offer of a blow job still stood because he was certain that his lips would look really good around his dick.

"It's no problem." he said, smiling, trying to rid his minds of inappropriate thoughts before he embarrassed himself, "I actually kind if did it for selfish reasons." He admitted, Michael quirked a brow.

"Oh yeah? And what were they?"

"Well, firstly, I'm pretty desperate for a drummer," he started, smirking, "and also, it was a pretty great excuse to finally meet you." 

"What? You mean you wanted to meet me?" Michael looked shocked.

"Yeah, I did. Why are you so surprised?" 

"I just...wow. I just can't quite believe that I'm actually here, with you. I mean, you're _you_ and I'm just me and I don't understand why you'd want to meet me." 

Calum laughed, shaking his head incredulously.

"Dude. You have no idea...ask Luke, man. I've been acting like a stupid, lovesick _puppy_ the last couple of days because of you." He informed him. Michael looked even more taken aback.

"Why?" Was the reply. Rolling his eyes, Calum decided to throw caution to the wind and took a step closer to Michael, who didn't move away. In fact, he leaned slightly forwards, towards him.

"Because," he started, voice soft, "I have an _enormous_ crush on you." 

"I...fuck." Michael hissed. His once-pale face was now beet red and he struggled to form words. 

"I know it sounds ridiculous because I've literally only just met you and we've barely even talked but I feel like I've known you for years even though it's only been like five days and a few phone calls." He said in a rush, nerves returning full-force, enough to knock the wind out of him. Michael just grinned, though.

"I'm so glad you feel the same way. I was worried it was just me." Michael beamed. Calum felt like he was flying. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, grinning. Calum was literally _just_ about to lean in and kiss him when a loud voice made him jump.

"Okay, Calum, are you going to audition this guy or what?" One of his management team asked. Calum jumped, surprised, and glanced over to see a group of people gathered in front of the stage. He assumed they were there to hear Ashton play and make a judgement. Glancing at the drummer, who was stood close to Luke, looking incredibly nervous, Calum nodded.

"Yeah, of course. Alright Ashton, I'm assuming I don't need to direct you to the drum kit." He joked, winking at the boy. Ashton laughed, nodding, and made his way over to the kit. His hands were shaking violently as he picked up the sticks. 

"Ashton, which song do you think you know best?" Calum asked. 

"Don't Stop." Ashton replied without hesitating. Calum glanced at Luke who but his lip, shaking his head. 

"I can't play it alone. We need two guitars or it just doesn't sound right, and I don't want them thinking that's Ashton's fault." He frowned. Calum nodded, turning to Ashton ready to ask for his second choice, but the drummer spoke before he could get the words out. 

"Mikey can play guitar." He told them. Calum was momentarily confused by the nickname but then whirled around to look at Michael, raising an eyebrow.

"You can?" He asked. Michael was blushing. 

"Not very well." He said quickly. Ashton snorted.

"You're as good as anyone I've ever heard." Ashton insisted. Calum smiled. 

"You know _Don't_ _Stop_?" He asked, hoping the answer would be yes. It was the only song he'd released that he'd written himself. He liked to think it was his edgiest, and best. Michael nodded enthusiastically.

"Best song on the album." 

Calum grinned, then turned to Luke.

"Will this work?" 

"I don't see why not, as long as they can play." He shrugged. Calum grinned, half-running backstage and shortly returning with his bass on his back and a spare guitar which he handed to Michael. 

"I, um, I'm not...seriously, I don't think I can do this..." Michael spluttered. Calum shrugged.

"It's worth a try. Come on, please?" He smiled, and Michael sighed, taking the guitar.

"Fine."

Calum hadn't even sung the first line yet when he realised that the four of them were about to blow every performance he'd ever done completely out of the water.

He was grinning as he started singing, and by the time the song was over he felt close to tears. There was silence for a while after they'd stopped, but then slowly, one by one, their small audience started clapping. It was Lauren who finally broke the silence, grinning.

"You've never sounded better, Calum. I don't know where you found these two, but they're hired." She grinned at him, immediately looking back down at her phone. Michael started to protest, insisting that he wasn't even auditioning, but he was soon silenced as Ashton jumped up, sprinted across the stage, and launched himself at is friend.

"Shut the fuck up Michael we're going to be _famous_!" He squealed gleefully. Calum sidled up to Luke, beaming.

It all seemed like a dream to Calum. Everything seemed to be working out perfectly. Like pieces of a puzzle falling into place, cheesy as it sounded. Everything had happened so fast it didn't seem possible. He'd been famous for a couple of years now, but until now it had all felt wrong, like he wasn't playing the music he was supposed to be playing.

After just one song, he felt like the four of them worked together beautifully, and he knew he would finally be making music he could be proud of. He'd gained two amazing new people in his life. Luke was already crushing on Ashton, he cold tell, which could lead to problems, probably. But Luke was smart and Ashton didn't seem like a jerk, so he was pretty confident that things would work out okay.

And later on, in the back of the bus, with Michael's pretty lips wrapped around his dick, he was absolutely certain that things would be fucking _perfect_.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it was alright? Let me know what you thought! Thank you all you're beautiful! 
> 
> \- 5-es-oh-es :)


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